mcdonalds: sex with an ex

i figured it out.  ‘eating mcdonalds is the culinary equivalent to having sex with your ex.’  you can go forever without thinking about them, then suddenly you see them in a moment of weakness.  you try to remind yourself why it is you haven’t partaken in so long but the reasons escape you and you begin to question if they ever existed.  you convince yourself that this time you will do it differently but somehow you still end up ordering more of the same.  and at first it is better than you remember and then it starts coming back.  that feeling in the pit of your stomach that this was, in fact, a horrible idea.

how quickly it turns, suddenly you feel sweaty and full with a sense of nothingness.  you want the feeling to stop but the memories of what you have just done won’t let you go.  you leave and destroy all the evidence that you were ever there.  you say your ‘hail snoops’ and vow that this will be the last time.  that you will never cave again..

(it should be noted that i wrote this while at a mcdonalds.  i had my usual double quarter pounder meal with no onions and as usual i now feel gross and slow and now have to go to work)


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